Last night at around midnight I made the decision to put an end to Mia's suffering. She has been sickly for her entire life, and she had taken a downward spiral. Yesterday she was so sick she was totally out of her senses, unable to get comfortable or focus, so weak she was stumbling around. So I took her to the emergency vet hospital, hoping for a miracle but expecting to say a sad goodbye. There was no miracle.
I held her sick little body to my chest, then gave permission for an overdose of pain medication to stop her overworked heart for good. Ten seconds later and I saw the light leave her eyes; my baby girl was gone.
I am so sad, so hurt, so lonely for my baby, and it is all intermingled with my grieving for you. I wanted to just curl up in bed today and cry myself to sleep over and over. Instead I got up and went to work. I'm so tired. Too much sadness too close together. I'm not ready.
