Shock

I can't think of you sitting there
stopped
in your chair,
no breath in you,
no life there.
Can't think of you sitting there.

I can't think of us as three;
we are four,
we will always be.
I can't think of me without you --
you are part of me.

And I know there are those whose breath
was more tied to yours,
those with hopes and dreams
that you starred in,
those who gave breath to you
and those who you gave breath to,
and I understand that their grief must be
mountains next to mine,

but I can't contemplate a pain like that
when mine already cuts so deep
that I can't sleep
because I see you there
in your chair
offline;
and I can't dream
because I see your eyes
half open,
your hand bruised,
your life broken,
and the last words spoken
don't make sense.

I can't sleep,
I can't dream,
I can't breathe,
I can't believe.